Waves

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Sometimes you read something that make the waves come crashing back .

I think this is a very beautiful idea though.

wind phones

I never really did explain how my Dad died.

My Dad slipped and fell. We believe going to look for his dog by the river.  He hit his head and drowned in the lake.

It did however take them 3 days to locate him.
In that 3 days I’ll admit that I texted him a few times, telling him how much I loved him and how much I would miss him because I knew he sill had his phone and it was my way of being able to tell him as we always texted a lot.

Everyone has their own ways of dealing with Death.
I might look to some like I’m cold or too strong maybe but i’m just who I am.

We never had a funeral for my Dad . He hated funerals.

I remember this one time at a funeral we both had to go to out of respect. sitting at the back him looking at me and saying

Dad : “I hate funerals.”
Me: “Me too.”
Dad: “Wanna go get a drink after?”
Me: “For sure.”

I do kinda wish I could have some kind of party sending him off .

My family however has really made an attempt to get anything they can get their hands on out of the will.

So even if I could at some point I wouldn’t want a few of them around.

They have even tried to have the audacity to want to be present when I picked up my daughters things from his home.

I think that pisses me off more than all the other things they have twisted so that they can have more $$$.

I really wish I could find a way to stop being soo pissed off about it as it’s a reoccurring thought for me. Maybe once things are dealt with and I can’t officially write them off . I can let go.

Suggestions welcomed on how to let things like this go and feel more at one with the universe again .

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Filed under Day to Day, family, In my closet

A lot on my plate

So I’ve been super busy with myself lately etc.

On top of having my toddler and moving AGAIN in December , My dad passed away.

 

I’ve been trying to deal with his Estate and my “Family” (or so they call themselves) that are working on my Dad’s estate. I can’t wait for that to be over and done with so I can choose whom to have in my life.

I let myself go for a while as I wasn’t sure how to process things. I am still not sure. But I decided I need to get back in shape for myself to be happy. I can now run 5k on a treadmill. Running seems like the only time I can just relax and let go.  But I don’t get to do it often with the baby around.

The best way I’ve heard grief explained , I found on the depth of the inter web.

Maybe this person’s quote will help someone else dealing with it.

“I’m old. What that means is that I’ve survived (so far) and a lot of people I’ve known and loved did not.

I’ve lost friends, best friends, acquaintances, co-workers, grandparents, mom, relatives, teachers, mentors, students, neighbors, and a host of other folks. I have no children, and I can’t imagine the pain it must be to lose a child. But here’s my two cents…

I wish I could say you get used to people dying. But I never did. I don’t want to. It tears a hole through me whenever somebody I love dies, no matter the circumstances. But I don’t want it to “not matter”. I don’t want it to be something that just passes. My scars are a testament to the love and the relationship that I had for and with that person. And if the scar is deep, so was the love. So be it.

Scars are a testament to life. Scars are a testament that I can love deeply and live deeply and be cut, or even gouged, and that I can heal and continue to live and continue to love. And the scar tissue is stronger than the original flesh ever was. Scars are a testament to life. Scars are only ugly to people who can’t see.

As for grief, you’ll find it comes in waves. When the ship is first wrecked, you’re drowning, with wreckage all around you. Everything floating around you reminds you of the beauty and the magnificence of the ship that was, and is no more. And all you can do is float. You find some piece of the wreckage and you hang on for a while. Maybe it’s some physical thing. Maybe it’s a happy memory or a photograph. Maybe it’s a person who is also floating. For a while, all you can do is float. Stay alive.

In the beginning, the waves are 100 feet tall and crash over you without mercy. They come 10 seconds apart and don’t even give you time to catch your breath. All you can do is hang on and float. After a while, maybe weeks, maybe months, you’ll find the waves are still 100 feet tall, but they come further apart. When they come, they still crash all over you and wipe you out. But in between, you can breathe, you can function. You never know what’s going to trigger the grief. It might be a song, a picture, a street intersection, the smell of a cup of coffee. It can be just about anything…and the wave comes crashing. But in between waves, there is life.

Somewhere down the line, and it’s different for everybody, you find that the waves are only 80 feet tall. Or 50 feet tall. And while they still come, they come further apart. You can see them coming. An anniversary, a birthday, or Christmas, or landing at O’Hare. You can see it coming, for the most part, and prepare yourself. And when it washes over you, you know that somehow you will, again, come out the other side. Soaking wet, sputtering, still hanging on to some tiny piece of the wreckage, but you’ll come out.

Take it from an old guy. The waves never stop coming, and somehow you don’t really want them to. But you learn that you’ll survive them. And other waves will come. And you’ll survive them too.

If you’re lucky, you’ll have lots of scars from lots of loves. And lots of shipwrecks.”

 

So i’m dealing with my ship wreck but also plan on getting me back .

I’ll keep you up to date on that and the BB later

 

much love

xoxo

 

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Moved and still busy

Well I’m Finally moved I may update you with some photos later but for now my place is a mess.

Been unpacking and purging like a crazy person.

I have WAY too much stuff. Babies / kids unfortunately intensify having “Stuff”.

I should be able to start blogging a bit more soon since Most is done.

Here’s a few of the things I hate so far about this city:

Roads closed everywhere

Roads that are not in a grid , all of them are all over the place with no rhyme or reason.

Traffic . WHY?

Selling stuff is impossible here

Dog still isn’t house trained again

Friends are far now.

Price matching isn’t as great

 

 

Things I like:

Windows

Bathtub

Fresh air

I live close to my cousin

45 mins closer to my family

 

New years has come and gone I meant to finish this post before then  but I have ordered the

The Life-Changing Magic of Tidying Up: The Japanese Art of De cluttering and Organizing

 

and plan on implementing this , this year

Upon moving I realised I have WAYYYYYYYYYY too much stuff.

And hate the amount of stuff I have.

I can not wait for the book to come on Tuesday I’ve already started purging (again) based on just the notion on if something gives me Joy and/or I need it.

 

You can preview the ideas here

Just cut 1/3 of my coats down and 1/4 of my shoes .. BAM gone. it will be interesting once the book gets here and after I have read it to re evaluate things.

 

 

In other News B is getting so big . She’s 7 months now and eating lots of baby food .

 

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Filed under Day to Day, family, Links and stuff, Me inspired, Useless Knowledge

Moving SOON

So we are moving out of the GTA  area.

I will miss the GTA greatly but its just not logical to stay here for us as housing prices are so far out to lunch us a average Canadians can never afford to buy a place. So hubby’s job

so time to leave.

I will have to commute back and forth in April until I decide what I want to do.

So other than leaving my friends i’ve made (sad) and area I like. There is some good points.

We are leaving a BASEMENT apartment with TINY windows (not good for anyone) and creepy crawlers.

I will miss free laundry and AC.

No bathtub here either.

When looking for an apartment I sacrificed space for location. I didn’t want to be in a bad area with our budget so a bit smaller living space was better. Nice safe feeling area and Dog friendly. Very close to the YMCA too for baby’s soon to be swimming lessons.

We are moving into an apartment 2nd floor that has a bathtub (will need this for baby soon) I CAN NOT WAIT for a hot bath its been over a year of just a shower.

WINDOWS , SUNLIGHT, FRESH AIR.  I get to have plants again.

The whole apartment will be newly renovated. NO carpet, New hardwood , ceramic, new stove, new cupboards, small balcony (mmmm I can’t wait to enjoy my coffee on it..or by it since it will be cold by then)

We are 1 door from the laundry room.

No AC will need this still.

But Close parking.

Renovations in Progress 😀

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In other news I RE fractured my Toe and then Nash stepped on it.. 😦

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Month 5

Yup we’re in Month 5 and soon 6

I’m going to have to jump a bit around with a few things I miss here and there but at least its my “kinda” catching up

I can not BELIEVE how fast it has flown.

I love that my bibi is a bibi . Do not want her to grow 😦

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We have been trying new foods and learning new things here is a few of the food photos 🙂

We haven’t found anything she doesn’t like yet shes 17lb and clearly likes to eat!!

so far we have had rice and oat cereal, banana, pear, carrot and squash.

First solid Oat cereal

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Carrot

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And Pear. ( and yes I get silly faces everything we try.)12191397_721737904593096_5800586569506286073_n

You can find us on facebook and more here:

https://www.facebook.com/hongkongkisses/

and Here:
https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCiddP97-a6jvUKS1bJuxgsw

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Treats from Japan 2

Here’s a old Quick round of of some treats from Japan I ordered months back

And their Reviews :

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Lets start with my weakness

Cheeza:

Nothing compares with these cheese crackers : I give these 5  Om Nom’s  /5

for deliciousness

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This one was a surprise but a Yummy one :

I’d give these 4 /5 Om Nom’s

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KFC Chips

I really love this brands spicy chips .

The KFC chips were Ok but nothing spectacular

3/5 Om Nom’s

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I believe this might be Carrot Pie? Kit Kat

These were Ok too but only 2/3 Om Nom’s for me.

But my daughter LOVED these

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I have no idea what this is but it was Fantastic

5/5 Om Nom’s

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Yummy Squishy Grape things:

The purple ones get 4/5 Om Nom’s

Green only  2/5 Om Nom’s

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Latte Maple Marron

5/5 Om nom’s I want more why is there soo little in this bag !!!

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And things that are not Om Nom’s

Playing cards

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Minnie mini Chop sticks for my bento

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Bento Strap

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Training chop sticks

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Facecloths !! OOOOOO I want MORE SOO  many MORE

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Look at this notepad .. Another surprise !

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And last but not least Hello Kitty matching fork and spoon

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Treats from Japan Mmmmm ^.^

So my friend in Japan is nice enough to be a personal shopper for me.

This is what I ordered last time!

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I will start with the Toilet candy above.

I ordered that one for my daughter was definitely interesting I liked the one flavour it came with the other was kinda EKKK lol.

Was a good conversation starter though hahahaa.

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Minnie Bento

Next I ordered a cute little bento  Gotta love the cuteness from Japan 🙂

IMG_20141227_104516Oreo soft cookies !!

These were pretty good . I’m wondering what the regular ones without the icing taste like?

IMG_20141227_104504Avocado chips .

These weren’t bad but lacked flavour for me . However my Fiancé took them over he liked them 🙂

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Sweet potato Cookies. 

YUM .. But tasted more like icing cookie to me . but very good !!

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Raspberry Kit Kat ..

OMGGGGGGGGGGG IF I could have these all the time I would be in trouble soooooooooooo yummy .

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Cheeza

I like them both .. the cheddar the most though but that’s the kinda cheese I like more.

If you have a chance to try these you may not want to because you will become like me and need MORE .

mmmmmmmmmmmm best cheese crackers ever.

Likely why I have another Japan box on the way .. hehehee.

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